The Busby Babes

The Boff, The Blackie and The Laddie enjoy Status Quo.  Boff looks a bit like Michael Ball in this picture.

The Heron, Mr Fudge and Granny Jedward.

I have been the model husband this weekend in having endured 2 of the worst fates known to man. That is IKEA and the German market. IKEA isn’t a place I frequent more than 3 times a decade and there is a good reason for this. In a nutshell it sells shit. To ease the pain I play little observational games to amuse myself but this time to my shock and amazement it was at least 15 minutes before I spotted any lesbians. In the past you are usually tripping over them as soon as you get through the door. Then there are the lovey dovey 20 something’s holding hands throughout, him wearing a chunky sweater with scarf tied neatly round the neck outside the jumper (what the f*ck is that about?) She is hoovering up tea lights and garlic presses. In a few years time she will feel empty and worthless, her ovaries shrivelled and vacant, he will be fat and bald struggling to fit into "Next" t- shirts and the antics of younger members of his peer group. Metaphorically his bollocks have been usurped by his own inadequacy and have crawled so far back into his gut that they are knocking on the door of his prostate. He used to wear them like ear rings.His heavy drinking will fuel domestic violence in a few more years and she will find solace in a white wine, internet gambling and ITV. Mostly though these people deserve each other.

The German Market. Frankly Birmingham should hold its head in shame to let these sausage munching warmongers in the city. Again it’s the thin end of the wedge and it will only be a matter of time before the BBC bring back Seaside Special with Al-Qaeda performing most of the skits. Meanwhile back at the market as my sons climbed onto the Helter Skelter I shouted up “Don’t forget lads, these bastards murdered your Great Grandfather” as any proud Dad would. One year I asked the German Father Christmas if he shone a torch in the children’s eyes when asking them what they wanted for Christmas. Nobody ever says anything though. Infact incidents such as these are punctuated only by my wife walking off rapidly in another direction.

In other news The Biff Boff has diagnosed one of my fish with fin rot. Apparently last time I changed the water it must have caused the thing a certain amount of stress. Boff said that the prognosis is not good and I should expect to come home to a “floater” any day soon. I will of course keep everyone posted here about any developments.

More pictures of Max Webster RIP  from Erdington.  Go on google it!

Much love to Tony pictured above who sat in where the boff usually sits and did a streling job.  We have all known Tony for years, especially Busby who has known everyone for years. 

The 23rd of October was the 66th anniversary of my Grandfather being murdered by the Germans.  My old man made sure this was one of the first things I was aware of as a child and I have done likewise with my three children.  My old man never claimed a penny from the state and raised four happy children to do the same.  He wasn't even any trouble when he was dying.  From start to finish it only took him six weeks and he never moaned once.  The truth is my old man had more self- respect and dignity in his big toe than 90% of the shit that my own loved ones and I have to rub shoulders with everyday.  Last week another Fortune hero died, this one didn't have to fight and kill Germans he just stayed at home and built a big loving family.  I hope I can do the same.

Jeffrey Michael Fortune 1940 - 2009.  RIP.

xxx 

Cheers Mr Busby for this weeks blog

.

"firstly, sympathies and condolences are to be given to mr fudge who lost his dad on saturday. it has been a very hard and testing time for mr fudge who has soldiered on relentlessly and all our collective thoughts and love are sent to all "the fortunes". Jeff has left many, many good memories and i personally have cried tears of laughter many a time at his tales of the upbringing of "our math". . . "swearing children", "the binocular incident", "walking sadie", "retrieving stolen cars", "laughing at moth shaped blood clots" . . .

 Jeff fortune, thankyou, you will be sorely missed.

friday at the crown and cushion was a subdued affair. due to mr fudge not being there, a phone call to babe no7, blackie wooton, was hastily made. "bring your bass, you're playing" was the phrase i believe. bless him, playing non buskable songs with a thousand chord changes a minute with as little help from us as possible is a hard enough task . . . but he did a sterling job, so much so that he was even given a bass solo (not that he was given much choice !). thank you blackie wooton, without you it would have been a disaster.

years ago, in the early days of acoustic sit downs, friday nights in "the oddfellows" and "our" van running on fresh air, we were often followed by a man named "mort". the last time i remember seeing him, he said "you should do that angels by robbie williams". that was 10 years ago. we took his advice and yes it did work and induced many a sing-a-long at the end of the night. on friday mort re-appeared, minus the beard. so where has he been ? on "the money programme" apparently. he still has an insatiable appetite for birds so imagine his delight at seeing our collection. he was so happy he almost told us why "auntie" is called "auntie", but that is another story for another day.

so to conclude, fridays gig was hard, and even strange at best, but possibly the most disappointing part was that we didn't have to push 70's don's jaguar 2 ft down the road so that we could park the van. next time . . ."

New Page Alert.

Busby Meets ... 

We arrived at Kev's house a few minutes early and he hadn't had time to finish his final ablutions before our trip to Coventry.  Anyway we took his picture and "hirsute Kev" is pictured above.  The last two weeks in my life have been incredible.  Yesterday I mashed up food to spoonfeed my 69 year old father and then got home and did the same for my one year old daughter.  For light relief  I have been reading the work of both Thomas Aquinas and Robin Cooper.  Both have their moments.           

It has been a complete pleasure to play with the boys during my "fortnight horribilus" but even more of a pleasure to realise what three great  friends I have got in Busby, The Boff and The Plant.

Cheers Boys.  I owe you all a "kabab"  (not spelling with two a's)

Thanks to Mr Busby for providing this weeks blog.  None of us could have said it better ...

well . . . will "Belbroughton Beer Festival 2009" prove to be the greatest gig we have even played ? . . . 2hrs 40mins of musical mayhem, beautiful abuse, ginger twins, mr fudge taking his rapping to new celestial heights, kev inciting audience participation for the first time in 14 years, the biff boff letting us touch his banana on the journey there in big red, our final farewell to something we've had for 5 years (answers on a postcard . . .), the man who has owned half of west bromwich being responsible for introducing us to a marquee full of country folk who yelled for oasis all night, a broken guitar, a dancing paraplegic, and for me, the first time in 6 years that i have drunk "coke". a BIG thank you to the following ; Bob & Jill for the beer, Andy & Julie for pogo dancing on demand, the Hannahs for not knowing anything we played but still having a great time, The Hortons for being all you could want as ex-parents-in-laws, all the collective Black Country day trippers and finally, everyone else who made it a night that will live long in our collective memories . . . even the birds were speechless . . .

thankyou x

Sorry the regular vent has not been kept up to date.  Things are very busy at the moment as work is increasingly requiring me to "sit at the captains table"

There are a few tasty little gigs added in before Christmas including The Hop Pole and The Cushion in West Brom.  After playing in Sutton last week I must say that the people of West Bromwich are kings compared to some of the obnoxious brummie sh*theads we have to contend with some weeks, but being a West Brom lad myself I have always known this.  Of course the "sutton gang" are fine people and clearly at one with the babes wider alumni.

David Bowie is safe as of publication.